Those words were spoken to me today by my 1st Counselor in the Bishopric. He is a man that I have grown to love and admire deeply. He is gentle and kind and can also be the most hilaroiusly naughty fella (besides Cary) that I know.
The theme today in Sacrament was journals, family history, following the words of the Prophet. I consider this somewhat of my electronic journal that I hope to print off one day to keep all of my notes and stories in for my children. I decided to share something somewhat personal and I'm not quite sure why I feel the need to do so. I have learned, however, that when you get a prompting it is better to go with that prompting!
To lend a little background to the story...
Cary and I have been in our calling for almost five years now. We were called to be primary teachers and scout leaders way back when the wards split and we were moved into this "new" ward. When we were first called I was petrified. 11 year old boys? a lot of them? Are you kidding me?! Not only would I be teaching them the Gospel on Sunday, but I had to teach them how to be a Boy Scout on Tuesdays? How was *I* going to teach them how to be a scout? and a good one? pfft!
We worked hard and learned as much as we possibly could and we prayed for guidance... A LOT! I grew to love those boys dearly. They were, in all respects, *my* boys. They worked hard and did their best and I loved watching them grow and mature. Some of the boys that I had when they were 11 are now driving and in high school! It's been such an amazing journey to see them grow and become fine young men. I cried when they moved on to the older scout group, but would still see them on Sundays and at various scouting events. I have learned something from each boy that we have had. They are amazing boys.
In January we were moved into the cub scouts and are teaching the 10 turning 11 year olds. It has been a great experience as well, albeit a different one.
It has been difficult lately for me to be excited for scouts and get ready for our den meetings and pack meetings. I truly hate using the kids as an excuse, but having them has made a huge difference in our lives. It seems everyday someone has a class, a therapy appointment, a visit, boy scouts, activity days, band, you name it...we're probably doing it.
So, the point is that we have sucketh mucheth in our scout calling as of late. It's not necessarily been intentional, but it's defintitely not been on the fore front. There is no excuse.
The Primary President told me today that they had called two men to replace Cary and I as scout leaders, but that we were still going to be Primary teachers. I had so many emotions run through me in such a short time span. I was relieved, worried, guilty, and most of all sad. While I realize it is a good thing, it weighs heavily on me that I did not, have not, done all that I should be doing to fulfill my calling to the best of my abilities. Today was also the day that we needed to renew our temple recommends. (nothing like waiting until the last day to get things done, no?)
As I sat in Sacrament and listened to the speakers I watched all of our boys and thought of how much they have impacted me. I know that I am a better mom to my boys because of the experiences I was able to have with the scouts. I definitely learned how to deal with boys better and let *some* things roll off and let them go. I thought also of how I was going to have to meet with a member of the Bishopric and have my interview.
Almost immediately as I sat down with him I began crying. It was as if someone had turned on my crying faucet and rigged it up so that it was unable to be turned off. We had the interview and at the end I was able to receive some very wise counsel from him. Some things I hold very sacred and will keep them to myself.
But, some of his words I would briefly like to share.
He said that everything has its season. We have to know when we can give and do, but we must also know when we need to pull back and tend to other things. There is no shame in that. Everything has its time and Sometimes we are able to give and give and give,but we must also know when we need to give to ourselves.
I suppose our season for scouts is finished, for now. I have five other bodies to worry about and help right now, for which I am truly grateful. I love my kids and I want to be the best mom that I can be for them.
I love my Bishopric. I know that they are men called of God to guide our ward. I'm grateful for the service they give to me.