Sunday, April 17, 2011

Curse or Blessing?

Those who know us, know that we've struggled with the big "I". Yep, Infertility.  I don't talk about it much and I really haven't blogged about it, but I am feeling like I need to do so. This is all from my perspective, as a woman who has struggled with conceiving biological children. 
The reason for this post? Maybe I just need to vent. Maybe if I write it down, I can let it go. Maybe it will be therapeutic.  Maybe.

We have five beautiful children. Each of whom brings something completely unique to our family and each of whom are choice spirits. I know they are my children. I know that each of them are supposed to be part of our family.  I had a conversation with a friend and we talked about that very statement. We both know that our kids are our kids. But, to say they were always meant to be with us is a hard thing to think about. For them to be with us, they had to endure so much pain and face their own trials as their biological parents made the choices that they did. We did not adopt them from birth, they came to us through the foster care system. 

They were abused children, both physically and mentally. Why would a loving Heavenly Father have them endure all of that to end up with us, their forever parents?  I wish I had an adequate answer for that. I don't know. Sometimes I question it. Why not just send them to US to begin with?! Why not skip all of that  pain?
For now, only our Father in Heaven knows that. I know that Cary and I were prepared for them, somewhat. I know Heavenly Father put us in place so that they could come to us.  They have helped to make us, a family.

Lately, for some reason, women have felt the need to remind me of the fact that I've never had to change dirty diapers, I've never had to get up at 1am for feedings, I've never had to worry about spit up on my favorite blouse. And, not only is the reminder that I've never experienced these things, but that I should be thankful that I haven't.

I smile my half smile, nod my head in agreement, and give a chuckle
 The thing that they don't realize is that I want to experience 1 am feedings. I want to have a shirt ruined by spit-up. I want Cary to experience the dirty diapers. hehe :)
I haven't experienced those things yet, but I hope to. 

I love my kids. They are sealed to me. For All Eternity.
And, most days I'm grateful for that. :)
Buuuuut, I don't believe that my family is complete yet.
I think that we have another little spirit or two out there who is meant to be part of us. I know, most of you think that is a ridiculous statement considering we have 5 already. 
But, that's what I feel. 
I hope I'm right. 
I hope that we get to experience everything.

If not,  we'll be okay.  We have each other. We have five of the most adorable children on the face of the planet. and we have the knowledge that we are a forever family. 
But, please, don't remind me of how lucky I am. :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Easter Cookies!

I found this neat idea last year on Sugardoodle, and we loved it.  It is important to us that our kids know that there is a reason for celebrating Christmas and Easter. We don't want them thinking it's all Santas dropping toys down chimneys and Easter Bunnies pooping chocolate and jelly beans. 
    Last year as I was trying to develop some family traditions for our family for the different holidays, I ran across the following idea for Easter cookies. I loved it. The kids loved it. I also don't think it hurt too much that we got to all eat cookies for breakfast. Who doesn't love that? I'm including the recipe and the scriptures that Amy posted on the Sugardoodle blog. 
What are some of your traditions? 

To be made the evening before Easter.
You need:
1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
heavy wooden spoon
A Bible
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. This is important! Don’t wait until you’re half done with the recipe!
Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
Read John 19:1-3.
Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.
Read John 19:28-30.
Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us eternal life.
Read John 10:10-11.
Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.
Read Luke 23:27.
So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him.
Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.
Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.
Read Isa. 1:18 and John 3:1-3.
Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid.
Read Matt. 27:57-60.
Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed.
Read Matt. 27:65-66.
NOW GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.
Read John 16:20 and 22.
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.
Read Matt. 28:1-9

Friday, April 15, 2011

Pass of all passes!

We have Seven Peaks/ Trafalga Pass of ALL Passes. I love it. The kids love it even more than I do. We bought ours on CityDeals and got them for $34.95 and THEN got a 15% discount on top of that good price! shout out to Jennie for totally helping us out!
So. Stoked.
This week has been Spring Break for the kidlets. What a week! I enjoy having the kids home, even though it's a bit of a mad-house. It messes up our regular routine and it's not quite our summer routine. We had fun, at any rate.
On Thursday we went to Trafalga in Lehi. The boys brought along their friend Justin, and they went off to play laser tag and act like 11 & 12 yr old boys while the girls and I hung out, mostly at the airplanes.

We had heaps of fun, even though it wasn't even 50 degrees. Thankfully the sun was shining despite the blustery wind. It did not deter us one bit.
It did, however, slow the girls down after the water boats. :)

And, this is what you do when you don't want to get wet on the boats

The girls were super brave and climbed the rock wall. I was surprised by how far they made it up the wall. I always knew they were part monkey. :)

We ended the day with the obligatory mom photo. :)

Thursday, April 14, 2011


So, yesterday I was feeling extremely Martha Stewart-y. I don't know what's going on, but I'm all nesting and weird. Sadly, no, I don't have any announcements. Yet!

Anyway, after scripture reading every night we have a dessert. I like to make something yummy for all of us, and not rely on store bought stuffs. I found a recipe on . Ever been there? I usually find some pretty easy and yummy recipes on that site.
I've had 3 overly ripe bananas for a couple of days and have been wanting to make bread or cake or something. I was excited to find this muffin recipe. I tweaked the original recipe, and I think it made them even more Deeelishus. that's like a million times better than the normal deliciousness.

Banana Crumb Muffins:
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 bananas, mashed
3/4 cup white sugar

1 egg, lightly beaten
1/3 cup butter, melted
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
2 Tablespoons All purpose flour
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup walnuts

   Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly grease 12 muffin cups or line with muffin papers.
In a large bowl mix together 1 1/2 cups flour, soda, powder, and salt. In another bowl beat together bananas, sugar, egg, vanilla, walnuts, and melted butter. Stir the banana mixture into the flour mixture just until moistened. Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups.
 In a small bowl, mix together brown sugar, 2 tablespoons flour and cinnamon. Cut in the 1 tablespoon of butter until the mixture resembles coarse cornmeal. Sprinkle topping over muffins.
Bake for 18-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.

I need a better camera, and perhaps learn how to take better photos. But, wowzers. These were yummy.
We had them for dessert last night and breakfast this morning. :)

All in White

This past weekend was pretty eventful. Not only did Bug turn the big 6, but Gabby's Baptism day was Saturday!

She has been anxiously awaiting this day since last summer when she watched her older siblings get baptized. Gabs was the only one being baptized from our ward, so the entire program was up to us. I let Gabby choose whom she wanted to give the talks and prayers. Cuauhtli gave the opening prayer, Yoalli gave the talk on Baptism, Tonathiu gave the talk on the Holy Ghost, Papa confirmed her and gave her the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and Mama gave the Benediction. The Spirit was strong and I was proud of my kids. All of them.
I decided to share the talks that the kids gave that day. We did not help them with them at all, well except for Yoalli who got her first talk nixed because it was about 18 pages and had nothing to do with baptism. :)

Yoalli's talk on Baptism:
"Hi! I'm  Yoalli Nicholas, Gabby's big sister. Gabby asked me if I could do a talk for her baptism and now here I am! When I was baptized I made an oath to our Heavenly Father. I promised that I would follow his commandments and only eat what is good for my body, that I would be sealed to my family, and choose the right. I made other promises too.
Things like being sealed and keeping God's commandments are known as faithful footsteps back to Jesus Christ! Being baptized is one of those faithful footsteps! When you are baptized, all of your sins will be forgiven. And, that is Gabby's next big step today. All of her sins will be forgiven and she will be making the same oaths that I did to Heavenly Father.
   Heavenly Father also makes oaths to us that if we will keep his commandments, he will richly bless us. If we live the Gospel we will also live a life of happiness!
 I would like to bare my testimony by saying that Baptism is a wonderful blessing and I promise that if you take these faithful footsteps you will live a happy and good life. I know this Church is true. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Tonathiu's Talk on the Holy Ghost:
" Hello, my talk today is going to be on the Holy Ghost. Well, some people think of the Holy Ghost as their common sense. I like to think of him as God's heavenly nudge. Whenever I am about to make a mistake, He is there saying, "No, don't do that."
The Holy Ghost helps us through hard times, he helps guide us along the straight and narrow path, and he testifies of Christ. The Holy Ghost can also warn us of danger, spiritual or temporal.
It is important to remain pure and soft hearted so that the promptings of the Spirit can be heard more clearly.
 The Spirit is there on Sunday mornings saying, "Go To Church!". When you are up late at night and your body demands rest, the Spirit says, "You forgot to read your scriptures."
It is when you stop listening to the Spirit and you stop doing these things that he withdraws.
The Spirit can give you guidance at any time, but only as long as you are willing to listen. So, I guess what I am saying is , The Holy Ghost is important and we should all listen to him more."
He then bore his testimony to all of us.

It was such a special experience and made even more so because of the struggles that he and I have been facing the past little while.

Here are some photos of Gab's day:
I so love this picture. This is part of our whanau. I love them all. dearly.   
My favorite.

Happy Birthday BuggaBoo!

I can't believe this little beauty is six! 

She brings our family so much happiness. and so much frustration. :)

I love being your Mumma and I hope you will always know how much we all love you. Forever.

Here's some little snippets of Bug's Partay. She was digging Dora mucho this year, so we had to go with it. :)
probably not the best photo, but I LOVE her expression!

She also Loooooves Kai Lan.

We also played a little "Pin the Flower bracelet on Dora". Yes, the hat and scarf were mandatory. The boys were THRILLED. :)