Tuesday, November 3, 2009

At Rest...

Yesterday was the funeral. It was a day full of sadness and I was anxious. Anxious as to what would happen, seeing the casket, mourning my father so publicly. It was a difficult day.
My dad was laid to rest at Utah Veterans Memorial Cemetery at Camp Williams. It is nearby so I can visit when I need to and decorate and honor his grave. He was laid to rest on a hillside with the mountains behind him and the mountains in front of him.
The VFW was there and paid an awesome tribute to my dad. He received the full 21-gun salute and they played "Taps". It was beautiful. I wept and wept. I was in awe as I watched these older gentlemen in their best uniforms and honoring my dad's memory so brilliantly. I couldn't help but wish that my dad could have lived longer. He was taken to early, for me, although I know it was his time and part of Heavenly Father's plan. The retrieved the flag from his casket, folded it, and presented it to me. The man speaking to me was gentle and kind, and I wish I wouldn't have been crying so hard so I could have heard what he was saying better.

The pallbearers were Cary, Joe (Cary's Dad), Mark (Cary's brother), Justin (our brother-in-law), Steve Anderton, and Jared Carlson. All men whom my dad admired and respected. They carried him quietly and proudly and I wept. Again.
The service was lovely. The songs were perfect. Cary spoke of my dad and his love for him. Our Bishop spoke and said that the first time he met my dad he was impressed with him. The thing that suck out the most was his love for his daughter and that he would do anything for his daughter.
I wept.
It is hard for me to be so open and raw with my emotions. Especially when it is in front of others. I don't like being vulnerable and I don't like to show that weakness. Yesterday, however, I had no control over it.
Things went much more smoothly than *I* thought they would. It was a beautiful service and I know that it made my dad proud. I hope he can feel my love for him beyond the veil and know that I can't wait to hug him again.

4 comments:

Dawna said...

That is a very sweet post Amanda Lou. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Blue Is Bleu said...

*HUGS* You've had a lot to handle and you shouldn't feel vulnerable mourning your dad. Besides, you're surrounded by people who love you. Let the tears flow for now... he was your dad :)

Lorie said...

I am so sorry for you loss. And he does know. I have no doubt the veil is very thin on that side.

OUR CHAOTIC CLAN said...

I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your post was so touching, it brought me to tears. It's sooooooooooooo hard right now but it gets better, sometimes later than sooner. I'm so glad you have such a wonderful Hubby and darling children to buoy you up and support you during this difficult time. You truly are loved and admired by many! I Love you!!