Wednesday, September 16, 2009
How Two Became Four... Part One
Wednesday was the day! It was a day that Cary and I have been looking forward to with much anticipation for so many years. We were blessed with two little lovely little girls who will very soon become part of our forever family. It brings me to tears again just thinking about it. As you can imagine, I was a ball of cry yesterday. Yeah, pretty much all day.
I will share with you our story from the beginning. Prepare for a long post!
Last year our RFC (resource family consultant) emailed us about a list of possible children. Among the list was a sibling group of five girls. At the time, Cary and I said there was NO POSSIBLE WAY we could handle five kids (HA, Right?). But, we would be interested in the middle three, 3, 5, and 7 year old little girls. We were anxious and very curious. It took about a month before we received a call from the caseworker to tell us more about the case. She outlined the case and told us a little bit about each girl. We were intrigued and wanted to learn more about the girls. The caseworker set up a meeting with us and two more possible families. The girls were in a home that had five biological children and had a sibling group of five girls. Three of which were the girls we were "interviewing for". The caseworker came to our home and told us more about the girls and asked us a million more questions.
It took another month and she told us that we were chosen and we would be placed with the girls! We were excited! We were nervous! We were also very curious. We knew that the parental rights would be terminated soon and that these children could quite possibly be *our* children.
The girls were placed with us in October '08 and it was a nerve-wracking day. They were beautiful girls and we were anxious to start building a bond with them. I can honestly say *now*, building that bond was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Sometimes the caseworker fails to tell you absolutely everything about a child, and she had kind of left out a couple things. One of which was that Beonna had severe problems. She raged. If you have never seen a child truly rage, it is one the most frightening and frustrating things you've ever seen. The only way we can describe it is that while in a rage, Beonna would leave her body. Her eyes would be vacant, she would scream at the TIPPY TOP of her lungs, she would scratch, hit, kick, pound her head against the wall, (and more) and all of this could last as long as an HOUR. Waking up from a nap could set her off, not getting her way could set her off, and the sun shining could set her off. I did not know how to handle it.I didn't want to handle it. This child was not what I had envisioned for *MY* forever family! It pains me, but I can write that now. It was a very hard time for me. I wanted to give up. Cary, however, had a much different feeling about her. Somehow he could see through it all and knew that this little firecracker was meant to be ours, and we were not going to give up on her. He would not let me give up. How grateful I am for him and his faithfulness! He knew we could get through it. I prayed as I had never prayed before. I prayed for her, for me, for the other girls, and for Cary. I took as many parenting classes as I could. I read blogs, I listened to other parents' stories, and Beonna had therapy. (As a side not I am listening to Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkle right now on Itunes. fitting, no?)
Time passed and before I knew it I was falling in love with little "bugga bugga". At first her fits were not improving, but Heavenly Father was blessing me with the patience to deal with it and to see what Cary had seen all along. She has made improvements, HUGE MASSIVE STINKING improvements. She doesn't leave her body anymore, she stays with us. When she is starting to go into a "fit" as we call it now, I sing to her "Child of God" or "I love to see the Temple". Those are her songs and help her to come out of it. It's amazing what Heavenly Father can do!
Gabby had been my little bucket of sunshine. From the beginning she has been loving and caring and such an amazing little girl. When she came to us she was about a year and a half behind all of the other kids in her class. I am proud to report that she now gets all 100% (s) on her spelling tests and works very hard at reading and math. She is, for the most part, really mellow and happy. She gets that from Cary. :)
Now some of you might be wondering what happened to the third little girl. Well, sadly, she decided that she did not want to be part of our little family and she returned to live with her previous family. It has been the best situation for everyone, actually.
I will leave it at that. :)
A lot of things have happened over these last 11 months and it has been a long and bumpy ride. But, it has been completely worth it and looking back I wouldn't have it any other way. I have been able to learn more about myself, my husband, and my daughters. I love my Bug. I love my Gabbalella. They *are* and forever will be, My Daughters.
This brings me to my next post...Part Deux!